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Understanding the Will of God for a Christian Man and Woman

GOD is love

1 CORINTHIANS 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

EPHESIANS 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...
These words are often said when Christians speak about what the man should do. And that is all right. But the following verses are also important.
...to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blamish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

That the man gives himself up has a goal, it is to present his wife holy in the light before God. Jesus is the example. He lived together with his church, He taught them the word, He shared with them. Likewise also the man should love his wife like himself.

The command to love is also for the women. TITUS 2:4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children...

GOD'S WORD is true

GENESIS 2:16-17 And the LORD God commanded the man, You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.

God gave his word. The fall into sin was one of the most drastic acts that took place in human history. Because the word of God was broken, we today still have problems.

In the garden of Eden Adam and Eve lived in perfect harmony. Notice, that not the entire word of God was rejected. They broke only one word. Because of that trouble appeared, sicknesses, and death.

Jesus says in MATTHEW 4:4 It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'

Not one word of God should be changed.

REVELATION 22:18-19 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

He has hid himself

GENESIS 3:9,10 But the LORD God called to the man, Where are you? He answered, I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.

Sin broke the communion between Adam and God. Also today God is calling, and people are hiding.

GENESIS 3:12-13 The man said, The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it. Then the LORD God said to the woman, What is this you have done? The woman said, The serpent deceived me, and I ate.

It's heavy to carry the sin. So the sin was pushed from one to the other. But it doesn't mean that it should be done in this way.

Finally Jesus took our sins upon Himself.

It's not a “must” to marry

Jesus was not married, also Apostle Paul.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:32-33 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world - how he can please his wife - and his interests are divided.

To live without marriage is a gift of God, and to marry is also a gift of God.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:7-9 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Unmarried Christians are not alone. The Holy Spirit is with them and in them.

The woman as a helpmate

GENESIS 2:18 The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

The principles in GENESIS are also binding in the NEW TESTAMENT. In 1 CORINTHIANS 11:9 we can read ...neither was man created for the woman; but woman for man.

The woman is a help for her husband.

At the end of PROVERBS the good qualities of a woman are praised.
PROVERBS 31:10-12
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

The man as the head

GENESIS 3:16 To the woman he said, I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your busband, and he will rule over you.

It is not possible to change it that women give birth to the children, and not the men. But what about that the man is the head of the woman? There are women who like to take over the command when they are married, or to compromise, for example 'The man is the head and the wife says what to do'. But God doesn't like compromises with his word.

1 CORINTHIANS 11:3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

These words of God are binding, also if the woman feels it's laughable, or if she resolutely refuses it, or if she says in love 'no' to it.

In 1 PETER 3:5-6 Sarah is shown as an example.
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Contrary to this is the equality of rights in our time, which didn't give an inner satisfaction neither to the man nor to the woman. It doesn't agree with the will of God.

In the Bible there are examples where women reigned. You could stumble over that, and think, that it's all right in that way. But when you read the Bible in more detail, you will find out, that these women by themselves took the control or they were appointed by politics.

The temptations

GENESIS 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?

Satan is the father of lies. His lies are so clever that you could nearly fall for it. He even lies by using the word of God. He also tried to outwit Jesus with the word of God.

MATTHEW 4:6 If you are the Son of God, he said, throw yourself down. For it is written: 'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'

Satan perverted the word of God by giving the word another meaning.

The Lord Jesus was the full word and he answered It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.' The word of God in all it's fulness defeated Satan.

1 TIMOTHY 2:14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.

The serpant deceived Eve, and after that Eve deceived Adam. Many men have a weak point, and that is the woman. She is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. She is the one that he loves.

Samson could not be defeated by thousand Philistines, but his wife defeated him.

David was a man after God's heart. But when he saw a beautiful woman washing herself, it enticed him to sin, and he commited adultery with her.

Ahab was King over Israel. It's written about him in 1 KINGS 21:25 There was never a man like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the LORD, urged on by Jezebel his wife.

The obedience of the man

GENESIS 3:17 To Adam he said, Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat of it,' Cursed is the ground because of you.

Adam listened to the voice of his wife instead to the voice of God. God didn't like that at all. Even if his wife is near to him and he feels love for her, the creator should be nearer to him. Fortunately God did not curse Adam, but the ground.

Also the man must be obedient and submit, for example the authorities, the employer, and of course the Lord Jesus.


What about it, if a wife is rebellious to her husband and wants to reign herself? Let's read what happened in the Bible. Israel was defeated and was a part of Persia. That this event is written in the Bible means, it is aimed at all nations including Israel.

ESTHER 1:15-22 According to law, what must be done to Queen Vashti? he asked. She has not obeyed the command of King Xerxes that the eunuchs have taken to her. Then Memucan replied in the presence of the king and the nobles, Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes. For the queen's conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands and say, 'King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.' This very day the Persian and Median women of the nobility who have heard about the queen's conduct will respond to all the king's nobles in the same way. There will be no end of disrespect and discord. Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media, which cannot be repealed, that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Xerxes. Also let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better than she. Then when the king's edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest. The king and his nobles were pleased with this advice, so the king did as Memucan proposed. He sent dispatches to all parts of the kingdom, to each province in its own script and to each people in its own language, proclaiming in each people's tongue that every man should he ruler over his own household.

After this King Xerxes took Esther as his wife, which he carefully picked out.

By the children of Eve you can see, that there was a righteous Abel und a unrighteous Cain. And there are righteous and unrighteous women. Therefore it is advisable to be very careful when choosing a husband. It's good to be in prayer, and sometimes it's good to wait until you are sure you get the right one.

Salomon's wisdom

Biblical thoughts about man and woman would be incomplete, if you would not consider the words of Salomon. God gave him much wisdom. For Salomon it was possible to find out the mother of a baby, about that two women were disputing. His words in the Bible are also exactly right. It is noteworthy that Salomon, who loved his wives, describes not only the pleasant aspects of women, but also the unpleasant.

PPOVERBS 11:22 Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.

The golden ring is her beauty, but if she doesn't use her beauty in the right way, her behaviour is like that of a pig.

PPOVERBS 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

In marriage not everybody do the same experiences, because there are good and bad people. There are women who are real crowns, and there are women who cause their husband everything else than pleasure.

PPOVERBS 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the LORD.

Like Adam found what is good when God gave him Eve.

PROVERBS 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

There are women who don't like peace. Then it's a blessing to stay alone.

ECCLESIASTES 7:28 I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all.

The men don't come off very well (one among a thousand,) and the women yet worse.

How good that Salomon has written the SONG OF SONGS. There the women rather feel flattered. The marriage relationship is compared to Jesus and His Bride.

Faithfulness in small matters

Small matters can cause big effects. The Bible speaks about smaller things which should be done in love to God. It isn’t very popular to teach this, but it’s the biblical truth and a problem in our time.

1 CORINTHIANS 11:14-15 Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering.

In the sight of God a woman with long hair has a covering.

In the context in the Bible we can see that not only the hair is mentioned, but also the head. Her husband is her head and over him is Chirst the head. Now there can be different reasons why a Christian woman doesn't have long hair. Maybe she is instructed in a wrong way, or maybe the hair doesn’t grow, or maybe there are problems of cleanliness where she is living. But when the woman refuses to have long hair, she is dishonouring her head.

The fashion in the world is doing this today and another thing tomorrow. Sometime it is fashion that both men and women have long hair, and then it is fashion that both have short hair. But Christians should not orientate their life what the world is doing, but what the word of God is saying, and shine as lights in this world.

Here ist another thing where Christians should separate form the things of the world:

DEUTERONOMY 22:5 A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

In the garden of Eden this was not a subject. Adam and Eve did not need to dress and were not ashamed. But now after the fall in sin we have to do with sin. A man should wear clothes like a man, and a woman should dress respectable like a woman. It is not good when Christian women dress so scant as if they want every man to look at them. And women who dress like men are in the sight of God terrible. Especially in the modern civilization also women wear trousers. Because trousers were made wide a little bit, so that women could wear them, they are not a female dress. It's rather a show of her form. A female garment is a dress. The word of God is very precise and differs between man and woman, and Christians should not do what is bad in the sight of God.

Serving the LORD

JOSHUA 24:14-15 Now fear the LORD, and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshipped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

It is most important to serve the Lord of heavens. Make your decision now whom you want to serve.

A view into Eternity

REVELATION 21:2-5 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from GOD, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and GOD himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, I am making everything new!

The last fight is finished. Life is surrounded by life. Men and women are crowned.

This is written to the Glory of God and to edify the body of Jesus Christ
from Martin Matuttis - Missionary from Germany

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